Monday, September 7, 2009

Relaxing weekend, Realizations, and Religion

I had a wonderful weekend away! Lots of food, fun, and CRAFTING! I made these cute note cards for friends, check them out!



The pink ones are for Miss E, Dashing's sister.



The travel ones are for a secret friend who doesn't know they are coming her way yet! She is a jet setter getting ready to move...




Can't wait to see if these ladies like the note cards! I sure do :)

So, onto the update... I have found that almost no conversation happens without the mention of at least one of the following words: cancer, lymphoma, chemo, doctor. No one is dwelling on it, but you can't make any kind of plans without addressing it. No, we can't do that next week because we have a doctor's appointment at that time. Let's plan the holidays this way because Sara Cate will still be on chemotherapy then. I think we all try to have "normal" (if that is even possible) conversations, but all talk consists of this. Cancer is not only invading my body, it's invading everything I and everyone else does. I challenged myself not to bring it up for 30 minutes. I barely made it. Unbelievable how life changes.

THE HONEST TRUTH: I've been facing this lymphoma head to head with as much strength and positivity (wink wink to the CDCs) as possible. However, I do want you to know that I do have my nights/days when I break. I am not Mother Theresa, and I bet she had her days too! This is what makes us human - I just wanted to share that I am human too and have a sea of emotions that I'm trying to navigate. I had some this weekend. It's when your feelings of scared, anxiety, trapped, lost, broken overwhelm you. Dashing does such a wonderful job listening and supporting me through this - I don't know where he gets his strength and wisdom. He wrote me this cute message using delicious alphabet cookies...
Then, I ate them. I think I've gained a few pounds this week...with the entourage whipping up all kinds of family meals and a do not exercise order, I'm loading up on calories. I'll just tally it up to caloric storage for the journey ahead. HOWEVER, I will NEVER resort to eating Paula Dean's "sandwich." You have to see this video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv8yEMRDe_w. You will feel sick to your stomach.

The other topic I want to be honest about is faith. I have an unexplainable sense of calmness within me. As Dashing's mom, Glenda, and I discussed, it's about how God will use my lymphoma as a vehicle to make me and those around me better people with more compassion, understanding, and awareness. I hope it provides others opportunities to reconnect, learn to live and love life, and recognize how each one of us are blessed in so many ways.

In honor of my Delta Gamma roots, I have to also mention this about faith. Just as I received word via phone on Friday that my PET scan showed no signs of tumors below my diaphragm (which puts me at a stage 2 ...fantastic!), I took my last sip of water at a local restaurant only to find the glass engraved on the bottom with an anchor and an 'H' (symbols of hope). Faith and hope will show up in the craziest of places if you just keep your heart and eyes open. TDH.

8 comments :

Emily said...

Hope and faith will get us through this! Thinking of you constantly, and know you are a rock, but we all crack sometimes!

Love you BB!

short southern momma said...

you are such a brave and strong chick...but totally human too! thinking about ya! = )

Sweet Simplicity said...

Cute notecards! I think your faith is amazing!

Josie said...

‘Positivity’ and TDH…you got it sister! <3 you

B Searcy said...

Love you, Sara. Be patient with yourself and stay strong enough to let yourself be weak when you want/need to. You're entitled to the full range of emotions, so free yourself from conventional expectations. You are amazing and I'm praying every single moment for healing and hope. Thanks for blogging - your authenticity resounds...

boycrazE419 said...

I love you so much and I admire your strength throughout this journey. I plan to be by you every step of the way and I know it will only be a matter of time before we're sipping mai tai's on the beach.

On a selfish note, I wonder if any of those note cards are for me :) You are so creative and I can't wait to learn to make some of my own! XOXO :)

Jessica said...

Visiting from Miss E's blog and SO admiring the strength and courage you have found within you! I hope you don't mind if I follow your story! You'll be in my thoughts & prayers!

SLJ said...

I just caught up on your blog and I want to say that you are truly inspiring! And of course the notecards are adorable :) good luck with everything and I will keep you in my thought and prayers.

 

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