After a long hiatus from my blog, I finally have re-gained the excitement of writing. The telling of a personal life story can be quite exhausting. Sometimes, it was therapeutic, while other times it meant re-hashing details I didn't want to remember. I just needed to retreat to my family.
So, here I am, strong of mind and heart with a renewed energy AND not to mention... a PET scan result that says I'm cancer free! I face the world with a different attitude, and am learning how to function with this new outlook. I possess much more empathy and peace these days. However, my patience level fluctuates. See, I have much more patience for sensitive situations, much less for meaningless ones. This Leo sometimes has to be tamed ;) I struggle when people make excuses for themselves and want to shake them to understand that they can do something about it - make every day a special one.
I'm learning how to essentially forgive others for not having gone through a traumatic experience or excuse them for not knowing what I've been going through. I'm hoping this is a normal post-trauma thing to experience?? I do recognize what is wrong with the picture - I'm just being honest with what runs through my head sometimes when I encounter mean or ungrateful or faith-less people. Work in progress I suppose :) On the other side of patience and understanding, I no longer get frustrated when someone takes the elevator up one floor or maybe scoops up the last close parking space - I don't know what their story is...maybe they needed it...just like I did at one point. You just never know someone's story. Also, if you do learn about someone's story, share your support. Some of the most touching moments during all of this were the ones that complete strangers hugged me or offered me prayers. What a generous and caring world we DO live in. It gave me reassurance and hope. Please share love and faith with others who need it.
In continuing my new beginnings, I have accepted a new job in a warm, welcoming office. This position will offer me the opportunity to be supported, to grow, and to continue to establish my new self. In addition, I have started to grow my stationery/invitation business Sincerely Sara Cate - 3 weddings and many notecard orders have been filled! Website soon to come....once I figure out all the nuances to building a website - much tougher than I thought! I am so thankful that through my life experiences, I recognized what makes me and have made changes in my career path to reflect that.
Now, onto what I would consider the most special new beginning... Dashing and my wedding! As you know, we were engaged on his birthday, December 18th. We will be tying the knot on July 10, 2010. OH SO SOON! We've got most things in order, and are just finalizing details at this point. Another new beginning moment.... I've got Dashing taking dance lessons! Now that is big! I think he has started many new beginnings right along side me. We have continued to grow closer with stronger support, understanding, and most importantly, love. We are enjoying every moment of our engagement from reading books together that our Pastor assigned to picking out centerpiece details (although agreeing on registry items has been a little bit more challenging, but fun none-the-less).
In reading about someone else's experience with cancer, I have adopted this explanation to wrap up this part of my life and move forward to the next....
I don't think I'll ever be able to say that I'm glad I've had cancer, but I must say that I am so glad and thankful for all of the wonderful changes it has brought to my life. My relationships with family and friends has grown stronger. I have been able to identify what makes me happy and ensure that all parts of my life contribute to my happiness. My relationship with Dashing has bloomed into an even more loving, caring, and supportive one - I am so happy to be spending the rest of my life with him. These are wishes many people hope to gain in a lifetime - and I've been able to do just that.
Thank you for all the support, encouragement, strength, and love you all have given me. You all have shown me the kind of compassion that I didn't think even existed. So, here is me, signing off on the old Sara Cate, and welcoming new beginnings. This fall, I will be transforming this blog into a new Sincerely Sara Cate to help me continue to find inspiration in the things I love. I hope you will join me on that journey.