Blissfully Wedded - The Design

As a girl, I love to look at pretty things that exude "fairytale". Most of us girls dream of our happily ever after, and most of us love to share it. I think this is where our obsession love for wedding photos comes from. So, I'll give you all what you want, wedding photos!

The inspiration from our wedding came to me quickly. My creative mind is always seeking out ways to interpret daily sights. I saw this photo....

and immediately went to work! However, first I had to beg convince Dashing that this wouldn't turn out too frilly. He has an eye for design too - which means he has a distinct style of his own and was involved in the design and approval of everything from our invitations to our first dance to our gift registry pots and pans (that's a whole other story). I first created our engagement party invitations.... (April 24, 2010) I wanted sophisticated elegance with a personal touch to be present in everything we did.

Then, I was thrown a bridal shower in my coveted formal afternoon tea theme at the Phoenician Resort in Scottsdale, Arizona...

Then, came the save the date cards and wedding invitations.

That's all for now....exercise patience. It is a virtue, you know!

Ready to Roll the Dice

I gasped for air, doubled over on the exam table. “Honey, you’re hyperventilating.”

The organ roared, the notes of Pachelbel echoed off the ceiling beams, and I took that first step in my pink pearl, peep toe pumps.

” Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” - Unknown

These two moments happened in the last calendar year of my life. One year ago today, I was diagnosed with cancer (Hodgkin’s Lymphoma). A devastating moment that took my breath away in the form of hyperventilation. In one afternoon, my whole understanding of life changed – actually, I don't think I understood much of anything that afternoon. The other, the moment on July 10, 2010 of true bliss as I walked down the aisle to dashing, my future husband; father on my right, God above. Both of these life defining moments have taken my breath away. The devastation and the harmony of these moments have changed me for the better: more compassionate, more patient, more poised.

Here today, is the start of a new side of my blog as I, Sara Cate, am now an updated model of my old self. (Sweetly using the word ‘model’ as a homograph as I am also modeling my new pixie hair).The mode of change was ignited by a four key pieces: Dream, Inspire, Communicate, and Explore (I’m lovingly calling this DICE). This includes dreams for the future as well as those while I count sheep - inspiration from family, photographs, and blogs - communication with family, friends, and my husband (Dashing) - and Exploration of who I am and who I want to be.


So, let’s roll the DICE and see what’s in store, shall we?

New Beginnings

Dear family, friends, and supporters,

After a long hiatus from my blog, I finally have re-gained the excitement of writing. The telling of a personal life story can be quite exhausting. Sometimes, it was therapeutic, while other times it meant re-hashing details I didn't want to remember. I just needed to retreat to my family.

So, here I am, strong of mind and heart with a renewed energy AND not to mention... a PET scan result that says I'm cancer free! I face the world with a different attitude, and am learning how to function with this new outlook. I possess much more empathy and peace these days. However, my patience level fluctuates. See, I have much more patience for sensitive situations, much less for meaningless ones. This Leo sometimes has to be tamed ;) I struggle when people make excuses for themselves and want to shake them to understand that they can do something about it - make every day a special one.

I'm learning how to essentially forgive others for not having gone through a traumatic experience or excuse them for not knowing what I've been going through. I'm hoping this is a normal post-trauma thing to experience?? I do recognize what is wrong with the picture - I'm just being honest with what runs through my head sometimes when I encounter mean or ungrateful or faith-less people. Work in progress I suppose :) On the other side of patience and understanding, I no longer get frustrated when someone takes the elevator up one floor or maybe scoops up the last close parking space - I don't know what their story is...maybe they needed it...just like I did at one point. You just never know someone's story. Also, if you do learn about someone's story, share your support. Some of the most touching moments during all of this were the ones that complete strangers hugged me or offered me prayers. What a generous and caring world we DO live in. It gave me reassurance and hope. Please share love and faith with others who need it.

In continuing my new beginnings, I have accepted a new job in a warm, welcoming office. This position will offer me the opportunity to be supported, to grow, and to continue to establish my new self. In addition, I have started to grow my stationery/invitation business Sincerely Sara Cate - 3 weddings and many notecard orders have been filled! Website soon to come....once I figure out all the nuances to building a website - much tougher than I thought! I am so thankful that through my life experiences, I recognized what makes me and have made changes in my career path to reflect that.

Now, onto what I would consider the most special new beginning... Dashing and my wedding! As you know, we were engaged on his birthday, December 18th. We will be tying the knot on July 10, 2010. OH SO SOON! We've got most things in order, and are just finalizing details at this point. Another new beginning moment.... I've got Dashing taking dance lessons! Now that is big! I think he has started many new beginnings right along side me. We have continued to grow closer with stronger support, understanding, and most importantly, love. We are enjoying every moment of our engagement from reading books together that our Pastor assigned to picking out centerpiece details (although agreeing on registry items has been a little bit more challenging, but fun none-the-less).

In reading about someone else's experience with cancer, I have adopted this explanation to wrap up this part of my life and move forward to the next....

I don't think I'll ever be able to say that I'm glad I've had cancer, but I must say that I am so glad and thankful for all of the wonderful changes it has brought to my life. My relationships with family and friends has grown stronger. I have been able to identify what makes me happy and ensure that all parts of my life contribute to my happiness. My relationship with Dashing has bloomed into an even more loving, caring, and supportive one - I am so happy to be spending the rest of my life with him. These are wishes many people hope to gain in a lifetime - and I've been able to do just that.

Thank you for all the support, encouragement, strength, and love you all have given me. You all have shown me the kind of compassion that I didn't think even existed. So, here is me, signing off on the old Sara Cate, and welcoming new beginnings. This fall, I will be transforming this blog into a new Sincerely Sara Cate to help me continue to find inspiration in the things I love. I hope you will join me on that journey.

Sincerely,

Sara Cate

My friends are fabulous

My best friend, Lizy, told me she was going to come over for a surprise visit. Little did I know, she actually meant our whole group of girlfriends. The doorbell rang a few times, and then the girls presented me with a gift. A gift truly from the heart.Each friend decorated a fabric square and then made it into a quilt. Even friends from New York and Chicago had their hand in this. How lucky I am to have friends that are so thoughtful and caring. I love you girls!

The End is Just the Beginning

As a movie comes to a close, and the film fades out, two words scroll across the screen to signify the happily ever after...The End. Although I finished my last round of chemotherapy, The End is not here.

On January 6, I received my final chemotherapy infusion. Although this was such a wonderful feeling knowing I was done, the event that matched it was throwing out Mr. PICC. Yes, you heard it from me. Mr. PICC is GONE. So after all of these events, the infusion nurses threw me a celebration "Bubble Party". I felt on top of the world.

PICC Line Removal - I braced myself for pain, but it didn't end up hurting at all!
Celebrating at the Bubble Party

Then the next chapter came - radiation. On January 13th, I met with my radiation oncologist (Dr. T). During that appointment, I got my tattoo - which I am happy to report is the size of a small pen dot. You would never notice it! Whew. I'll be starting radiation in the beginning of February - 5 days a week for 4 weeks.

Now I want to talk about the reality of it all. Although I responded beautifully to chemotherapy and really had a lot of great feeling days, I can't even think about chemotherapy without feeling sick to my stomach. This last round was definitely the toughest, and I had 2 dates with the toilet. I still don't have a taste for many foods and tire easily. My skin is very pale, my eyebrows are weak, and I've lost some eyelashes (I'm not sure if that's due to the treatment or stress - regardless, they're gone). My hair did not survive.

This photo was difficult for me to post because I don't want it to be real, but it is, and I want to share the truth with you. I frequently think about how much hair I'll have when Dashing and I get married.

So since THE END of chemotherapy, I have the next 2 weeks to recoup and recover before I BEGIN radiation.