Avoidance

There are certain things in this world that I must say I avoid:
shellfish, sketchy people on street corners, snack and dessert aisles
in the grocery store, chatty masseuses, and kitten adoption tables (I'm weak).
Each of these has a different reason for why I avoid them, yet yields
the same result. It prevents an outcome or confrontation. I have been
doing the same with my blog recently. My last few posts shared my
excitement for my golden 27th birthday. However, the entrance of
another year of life brought along some unexpected feelings. On the
evening on my Wednesday birthday, Dashing on a late shift at the
hospital, I relaxed at home, solo, making a little dinner (a dish I knew my
Dashing wouldn't want to eat, but one I love), read a little on my new
iPad (thank you dad!!), watched a little TV and crawled into bed. I
actually enjoyed my evening of me focusing on me, but wondered what
kinds of things make me truly happy and now can I focus on making
myself the best me. Kicking avoidance (at least in some situations)
would be a start. I have been avoiding my blog because I would have to
admit that I question what hobbies bring me the most joy, that I have
faults of guilt and jealousy, and feel that my work channeling classy
ladies like Jackie O and modern women like Kate Spade only to result
in a Kristen Whig SNL rendition of these ladies. I know in my heart
that I am kind, loving, respectful, and supportive. I just want to
grow into the woman that I know I am. This blog will help me face my
feelings of insecurities and questions as it forces me to look into a
mirror, not with criticism or remorse, but with a lens of continuous
growth and improvement.