Deep sigh.......
My self esteem is close to hitting bottom, maybe more like the bottom of a pool's deep end bottom, not bottom of a deep canyon bottom, but it's still the bottom of something. While on the subject, I feel like my bottom is doubling as you read this. As I eat, and am forbidden to exercise. I feel lazy and lethargic. My arm has an ugly picc line in it (it no longer hurts thought and shout out to Ashley Paige - I now have vet's plastic sleeves for the shower! Work great!). I'm breaking out on my face from the fertility dr's hormones plus they say I look 2-3 months pregnant (I'm not) because my ovaries are almost triple in size right now. I'm Casper-ly pale from lack of sunlight (a push to ensure I don't get skin cancer), and since I'll be losing my hair in a few mere weeks - I haven't cut or colored it and let's just say the roots aren't pretty. Needless to say, I'm a little down and totally insecure. Please don't think I'm vain, I just don't feel so awesome.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
My light at the end of the tunnel
Over the past 3 weeks (yes! It has been 3 weeks), I have experienced humanity at it's finest. Friends, family and complete and utter strangers have offered their support, thoughts, and prayers. This warms my heart and comforts my soul to know that people are genuinely good. An example, a 70ish year old woman approached Glenda in the Cancer Center's boutique (we were hat shopping) and asked who was sick. Glenda explained that it was me. The woman told Glenda that from the moment I walked into the shop, she was praying for me. Then she came and found me in the bathroom to give me a big hug and tell me that I would soon be a beautiful cancer survivor. Wow.
So in the continued spirit of support and inspiration, Glenda gave me an inspiration board to post pictures and things that will be my light at the end of the tunnel - places I'd like to go, things to do, things I love...
So, I want to hear from you....Other than the wonderful people in theis world...What do you love in this life? (a favorite vacation spot, a hobby, a cinematic masterpiece?)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
My TiVo has been returned
TiVo Consumer satisfaction: Low
A detailed update is called for as I have failed to inform you that TiVo is so last season.
We, as society, hold physicians (and lawyers) up as idols. Mothers want their daughters to marry one, parents are proud of the children for being one, and the community recognizes their dedication and determination in the field. I think this contributes to the amount of trust and leeway we give to our doctors. My entourage was referred to TiVo through another physician, and we immediately bit on the opportunity to get into an oncologist so quickly. Our experience with our initial meeting went just fine, with some minor irritations. Refer to my previous post for a detailed explanation of the visit. Although it wasn't the best visit, it didn't really occur to me that in this country, under our current health care - I can CHOOSE to see a different oncologist (This can also be considered a battle cry to not have government health care). I just accepted what I had. Then, Dashing's Dean of the Medical School suggested we seek a second opinion from a contact of his; we jumped on board (another example of how humanity is good - the Dean of a medical school helping me?? Wow, I am so thankful).
We had a fantastic visit at the University of Arizona Cancer Center in Tucson with Dr. Thomas Miller, a lymphoma specialist. Literally - he only treats lymphoma. He is THE expert in this, and not only does he have the knowledge and experience, but he is also caring, explains everything, and is willing to chat! This wonderful experience showed me that TiVo was vastly under-performing in his duties to see me as a young woman battling cancer, but instead as just another patient whom he needs to quickly see and move on. ICK. The Tucson center is beautiful and has a lot of perks that TiVo's office couldn't offer (like having someone sit with me during Chemo - TiVo didn't have this feature).
My point is, do not settle on anything in life if it isn't in your best interest. Hence, my TiVo has been returned.
A detailed update is called for as I have failed to inform you that TiVo is so last season.
We, as society, hold physicians (and lawyers) up as idols. Mothers want their daughters to marry one, parents are proud of the children for being one, and the community recognizes their dedication and determination in the field. I think this contributes to the amount of trust and leeway we give to our doctors. My entourage was referred to TiVo through another physician, and we immediately bit on the opportunity to get into an oncologist so quickly. Our experience with our initial meeting went just fine, with some minor irritations. Refer to my previous post for a detailed explanation of the visit. Although it wasn't the best visit, it didn't really occur to me that in this country, under our current health care - I can CHOOSE to see a different oncologist (This can also be considered a battle cry to not have government health care). I just accepted what I had. Then, Dashing's Dean of the Medical School suggested we seek a second opinion from a contact of his; we jumped on board (another example of how humanity is good - the Dean of a medical school helping me?? Wow, I am so thankful).
We had a fantastic visit at the University of Arizona Cancer Center in Tucson with Dr. Thomas Miller, a lymphoma specialist. Literally - he only treats lymphoma. He is THE expert in this, and not only does he have the knowledge and experience, but he is also caring, explains everything, and is willing to chat! This wonderful experience showed me that TiVo was vastly under-performing in his duties to see me as a young woman battling cancer, but instead as just another patient whom he needs to quickly see and move on. ICK. The Tucson center is beautiful and has a lot of perks that TiVo's office couldn't offer (like having someone sit with me during Chemo - TiVo didn't have this feature).
My point is, do not settle on anything in life if it isn't in your best interest. Hence, my TiVo has been returned.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
5 things I never though would happen at 25
5. Inquire about wigs and Rogaine
4. Be on church prayer lists
3. Talk about my eggs over omelets
2. Move into my boyfriend's parents house
1. Be told I'm an inspiration
4. Be on church prayer lists
3. Talk about my eggs over omelets
2. Move into my boyfriend's parents house
1. Be told I'm an inspiration
Saturday, September 12, 2009
A new day, A new do
I have accepted the cruel fact that I will lose my hair. So, Glenda and I went wig shopping on Friday (aka Cranial Prosthesis). We had a fabulous time trying them on; most of them look SO REAL! I've selected one special wig (not shown - being ordered) that I'm so looking forward to sharing with you all at the beginning of October when it arrives. In the meantime, please enjoy the hair fashion show!
Subscribe to:
Posts
(
Atom
)
Posts
